There’s been a recent headache in my life. This headache has a name, and this headache has an identity, and this headache also has a multi-billion dollar corporation backing it. Namely, the iphone has been driving me up the wall.
Last summer, I was buying groceries at the store. I use my phone to keep my list on, and was checking it off as I went. When I got to the checkout, my hands were busy putting things on the belt, and I put my phone in my back pocket. This, my friends, was my first mistake.
When I got home, I unloaded the groceries from the car and brought them into the house. By this point, I had to use the bathroom badly, and ran in there to do my business. In the process, my phone, which was in my back pocket, fell out of said pocket right into the toilet bowl.
Tragedy. I immediately grabbed it out, put it into some rice, blow dried it, freaked out some more and finally made a test call to Jeremy, only to find out everything seemed to be in fine working order. Thank God. And my lovely phone stayed in fine working order all the way through November.
Then, in November, I dropped my phone. I dropped it at such a right angle that the screen shattered. The age old tale of the shattered iphone screen. The phone was unusable.
Upon another small freakout, I drove to the AT&T store. Now, I’m not saying I blame them, but I think the could have aided in making my life a bit easier. My phone is connected to my dad’s business line, so when I go to the store, I need to know my dad’s business EIN number. If anyone is aware of that information for their own business, please let me know, because it is definitely not at the top of my list to remember such things.
Needless to say, they looked up my account even though they can’t because I don’t know that number, and they told me that I had an upgrade coming in January, and the best thing for me to do was go to Apple and buy a new phone, and then sell it back to them once my new phone came from my upgrade.
Great plan. So on to Apple I went, dropped a little over $200 and was on my merry way with a new, working phone. I called my mom at the end of December and said to her, “do you know we have an upgrade in January for our phones?” To which she replied, “no we do not.” I was obviously confused because the man at AT&T told me that we did. She said she had just called AT&T yesterday, because my brother’s phone had stopped connecting to WiFi, and he needed a new one. They told her May. She also told me we were thinking about switching carriers, and that if we accepted the upgrade it locked us in to a new 2 year contract.
Great. So after explaining my cell phone debacle from the last two months, she pauses only to inform me that we have insurance on our phones, why didn’t I call her right away? Excuse me? You mean to tell me that the people at AT&T, the people that I went to right away with this issue, who looked up my account, who gave me advice failed to mention that my phone was insured? That they could make one phone call and have a new phone sent to me right away for almost nothing? And when I went back to the Apple store, the people there informed me they don’t buy back phones, and both the AT&T employee and their own employee misspoke. Are you kidding me?
So, several weeks of back and forth between AT&T, myself, and my mom ensued. I now have a working iphone 5, which is trendy and great (whatever), for which I am waiting desperately for a case that’s coming in the mail because I feel like I will snap this super light weight thing in half every time I dial.
The best part is, the circle of life continues. Last Saturday night I went to the movies with Jeremy. It was cold, because the Midwest has decided deep freeze is it’s new thing, and I was pulling my gloves out of my coat pocket to put on. My super light weight phone was in there, but I had forgotten because it weighs nothing and I can’t feel it. Out the phone goes with my glove and down into a nice pile of slushy water on the side of the road.
So, I have officially drown two iphones. However, I have also officially resuscitated two iphones. After lots of blow drying, and a night spend in quinoa, my phone seems to be in pretty good working order. Thank God. That phone call to my mom would have been a nightmare.
So, my final wish is for this iphone case to arrive. I need some meat on this phone’s bones. When it’s in my pocket, I need to know it’s there. And I also need to stop trying to make my phone a swimmer.