renewed

The last few weeks at my job have really given me a sense of renewal. I have felt so strongly for the last few months that I was going to leave my job and look elsewhere for employment. I have not felt that way in the past several weeks. Actually, since my verbal admittance of wanting to pursue a career in administration, I have had a completely revitalized opinion of my job.

I’ve gone into work almost everyday since feeling very excited and different about what I do, and the way I look at both my coworkers and my students. I have this sense of belonging (finally) after three years, ad this idea of hot to relate with people. And I feel like I owe this change in heart to so many different things.

Firstly, and most importantly, I feel I owe it to my coworkers and friends. Getting to know them better has been the saving grace to so many of my days. They have taught me how to laugh, how to plan, how to let things go, and-most importantly-how to be heard. I could not thank them enough for how much they teach me everyday. Mary Kern, Kristin Davis, Tanya Thuesen, Ken Metz, and so many others, thank you for helping me, and teaching me.

And, although contradictory, I feel like the excitement of my future with Jeremy and the nervousness of knowing I’m leaving has helped me relax. It’s almost like, (sigh) finally I know my path, and that brings me comfort. And it makes me take greater risks (not just because I don’t care anymore, but because I do). I know I want to be the best I can be for the future me, and the future kids that cross my path.

That being said, tomorrow I go in to tell my principal that I won’t be returning. I am horrified. But not because I have to let go, but more because I think he won’t care. I think it will not phase him at all that I’m leaving, and the feeling of being under-valued and unappreciated is a far bigger blow to me than possible future unemployment.

But, the future of my teaching career feels bright, and makes me hopeful. I am so looking forward to continuing and finding out what’s going to happen. I once again look forward to going to work, and seeing all those kiddos everyday. So here’s to renewed love, and hopeful futures.

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