empty with echoes.

Well, the time is nearing!  I am about to move in with Jeremy!  He and I have been moving my things down to Illinois slowly each weekend.  We have officially gotten to the point where my house echoes, and the entire place is completely empty and lonely.

Although I have to live here for the next 18 days (but who’s counting), I have never been more excited to be living in a barren, empty, boring apartment.  I currently have two glasses, two plates, one bowl, one pot and one pan in my kitchen so I can eat for the next two weeks.  Everything else is packed.  I have enough outfits to get me through the next two weeks of school in my closet.  My couch, bookshelf, and larger furniture remains, but the rest is pretty much gone.

This has been a trying time for me.  My parents, who are very conservative and traditional, do not like this new life change.  They don’t like that I’m leaving my job, and like even less that I am moving in with Jeremy.  It has taken a large toll on my family dynamics, in my opinion.  I know that family is forever, and they are the people that are supposed to come first, but when I wake up every morning, the battle isn’t with them.  The battle is with me, and what my desires are.  And if what I want, and what makes me happy means disappointing them, then I guess for a while they are going to have to be disappointed.  I don’t like doing it, but I fear my life will never start if I continue to live under their wings forever.  So the emptiness permeates sometimes.

But, this new adventure with Jeremy is worth the risk.  We have been counting down the days forever.  We are so excited to have dinner together on a Tuesday night, and wake up together on a Wednesday morning.  That’s something we have never done before.  We are so excited to come home from work and share our days around the table, and not on the phone.  We are excited to see a movie on a Thursday, instead of a Friday night at 10, when I get in after driving to Chicago after school is over.  There are so many upsides, so many things to look forward to, and so much happiness to come.

So, I look at my white bare walls, and smile.  I open my empty cupboards and grin, and I look in my closet and giggle, because very soon, all these places will be filled by someone else, excited to start their new life where I left off.  And I will be as well.

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